Speed Racer‏

So just right off the bat I got to tell you this is going to be my lamest email to date. I've only been on for a little while but Elder Miner is ready to go, usually I just ignore him but today I'm going to speed a little because he's being transferred out. So lets just say I'm not going to hesitate too much.

I guess you have a blog up for me now. I may have said that last week but it looks pretty cool. I think it s funny that you put a counter up. Its actually a little sad to see. Elder Hendrickson laughed when he saw it. He said "bahahaha that sucks bro". I still think its kind of neat.

This week has been a little slow. Elder Miner and I clashed a little bit but Saturday night we got transfer news. My new companion is Elder Edmond and he is a lot bigger than I am width wise. He could kick my butt. But on a good note I may have mentioned the possibility of being on a bike this transfer. That won't happen because Elder Edmond seperated his shoulder riding a bike and is therefore not allowed to.

Man I'm speeding through this. Last Saturday we trained one of our wards on how to do missionary work. It was fun we did a visual example using laser guns where the leadership of the ward had to hunt us down and kill us. The first time they went in with no plan and we demolished them. The second time we gave them a plan and we were murdered... by laser. We used the example because missionary work goes smoother when we have a plan. It was a great example. We're also speaking in 2 of our wards on Sunday so it should be pretty good. I think the wards trust us.

I have to say, Jay Cutler suposively rocks for the Bears and it makes me sick. I saw a picture of him as a Bear and it made me cry tears of incredible sadness for my Broncos. And to top it off some nut job scheduled the Bears to play the Broncos next weekend in Denver. Who does that? Oh yeah JERKS DO THAT. Ruin my life.

This week will be good, I talked to Bekah's cousin who had my new companion as a MTC companion and said he was solid. I'm excited. We're speaking at the homecoming of a missionary from Minnesota on Sunday. I'm going to ask if he knows Spencer. Everyone I've met from that mission(which is a lot for some reason) has.

Well I'm off to dump Elder Miner. Peace Out

love, Elder K-Wood

One year‏

Here we go another week another email. But from what I hear is that it’s not an email it’s actually blog. I did go and look at it and it’s pretty neat. Better than I can do because I’m a twit! Awesome. Well things are kind of taking a turn for the opposite direction here. They seemed to get harder and harder each day. But I’m trying to make it better. We’ve doubled the amount of people we have talked to in the past week. But not much has come of that.

Alright let’s get started. Last week seemed really long because P-day was on Monday and this week it’s on Tuesday. That’d be like doing to work on Friday going to bed and its Monday the next day. It’s just not cool. But today it is P-DAY! It’s going to be a busy one in that. Tonight after its over will be busy but today we played soccer as a zone, we’ve emailed, going to go buy groceries, going to OFFICE MAX(OMG), and going to the bike shop hopefully. I’m hoping to get everything done but sometimes that’s just not that case.

As for the area. Well last week was my very super interview with President Bassett. We had a pretty good discussion. He told me the reason why he put me with my companion. We’ll see how that works. He also said that next transfer he could possibly make us a bike area. I said we may not need the car and he said he’d consider it. The area itself is not bad I guess. Not a lot of good potentials and we have count them zero progressing investigators and zero people coming to church. I have to say that’s the first time that has ever happened on my mission. Not cool. We doubled the amount of people we talked to. Elder Miner really loves to knock doors in the really rich area. I don’t know why, we have nobody we’re teaching regularly and we’re not looking in the right spot. I think it’s important to talk to everyone in our area. But first lets find people who will actually listen to us then we can go look in the better part of town. But unfortunately Elder Miner doesn’t really value my opinion very much. *sigh* oh well.

Well yesterday we decided to try out our luck on the bikes but I have to make a note before I go into that. I hate running. I hate it with a passion. My back and shoulders have been out of place since I was younger so when I run my legs don’t get tired my shoulders and chest cramp up. Don’t know why. Anyways every morning Elder Miner and Elder Staton like to run through the trails. Elder Hendrickson and I haven’t been huge fans of that especially since he began to suffer from shin splints. So we decided we would go biking instead. My tires were flat because I haven’t been on my bike in months and when I first got my back I decided to “slime” my tires. So the slime had all caked up in one spot. So we pumped up the tires and there was this huge bubble on my tire. I tried to spin it but it wasn’t having it so I went on Elder Hendrickson’s road bike he got from a homeless Mexican guy. When we came back I was enjoying a nice bowl of Frosted Flakes (as I do every morning). I heard an explosion. I ran out to the back door to the small gated area to find my tire popped and slime everywhere. So here is why that’s important. Yesterday Elder Miner and I decided to try our area on bike and the verdict is that it sucks. We traded off for the car at about 2 and drove around the rest of the day. Later that night we wanted to go run down the road and I said I’d bike it. We went out back to discover two of our 5 bikes missing. The only ones not stolen were the ones that were broken. I guess the Lord blesses us in mysterious ways. Elder Miner’s got stolen but I guess that’s what he gets for what he said to me Saturday. He was doing a crossword and the hint was skin blemish and it 4 letters long. He said “It must be acne but I better confirm that with you since you know about that better than anyone else”. I’ve learned to calm my temper on my mission but it took a lot not to deck him. I just had to stay in our room and ignore him for a good half an hour to feel alright. Haven’t gotten that mad in a while.

I have to say I’m sorry to hear about Aunt Pat and I can understand that Grandpa is quite sad about it. When I think of death I think of a poem that an old English writer wrote in the 1500’s. His name was John Donne I believe and he wrote one of my favorite poems the Holy Sonnet 10. It’s great it personifies death as this person stealing the lives of other s putting people to sleep and striking fear in others. Donne describes when there will be a time when he dies and shall look at death from the other side of heaven. He says that no one will fear death and once we have passed on death will be the one put to sleep. Last summer I had an experience regarding life and death. When we were at Grandma and Grandpa’s we went to see Grams for the last time during our visit. As we left I realized this could be the last time we see her. I didn’t like that. In fact I hated it. It drove me crazy. I talked to Grandma and she said you know its just part of life and helped comforted reminding me of all the good times I had with her. But I still didn’t think it was fair. I went upstairs and stayed up late. I remember texting Jenny on how upset I was and she responded with something that hit me hard. She said something along the lines of I don’t know how to make you feel better about this but just remember God’s plan. It hit me a little but not enough. I pulled out my Book of Mormon but decided I didn’t really want to read it something I did a lot last summer. I tossed it on the bed and it popped open to a chapter called Alma 40. I looked at it and read a couple chapters and it talked about God’s plan for us. How we got here, why were here, what we have to do, and where we’re going. That rocked me hard and I have not doubted in my faith since. Death is sorrowful and inevitable in this life. But I know that we will live on in the next. I probably wouldn’t last out here if I didn’t know that. I can say with confidence right now that Aunt Pat is in much better place than she was. I hope that was appropriate to share.

I really need to write President Bassett an email about the area so I may have to abruptly cut this off. As a side note I may have mentioned this in my letter to Spencer but just case I didn’t I want him to know I met two missionaries from his mission. One is Elder Gurr; he’s been home for like 4 months and is getting married in 2 weeks. The other is Elder Leavitt who comes home like next week. Actually on that note I have to say I accomplished something. I got the wards really excited about missionary work and the 5th Sunday this month will be missionary Sunday. I’m speaking in 2 of our 3 wards and helping do training during the 3rd hour. It’s going to be cool but why I mentioned that with Elder Leavitt is I’m speaking with him at his homecoming.

Well I’m out and I’m tired. Peace out.

Love, Elder K-Wood

PS The email is entitled one year because this week is Elder Kalab B. Frizzleby's one year mark!!!!!

PPS Brett Farve is a Viking that slimey no good jerk how dare he come out of retirement again, let alone go to the Vikings, ridiculous.

Beer, Teenagers, and the road‏

I'm a little tospy turvey right now and I don't even care if that's spelled right. Yeah its gotten to that point. I'm just a little loopy right now so I'm glad it's P-day because if it wasn't I'm sure some crazy religious nut would be able to stomp all over me. That wasn't the case last night because I was on my game but right now I'm a little off but alas I must write, write my story that the people may know what happened in the story in which I have written.

It's been a slow week. I've been getting sick of the people we've been teaching. Its nobody who is really interested or keeping commitments. Also its a lot of people he won't listen to us but when they're struggling would gladly take us in if we can get them the number to the Bishop. So I decided enough of that junk. So we've dropped quite a few people this week. Unfortunately that hurt our numbers(only 5 investigator lessons this week) which President Bassett may scold me for.

Well the title of this email is actually kind of scary because its what everyone fears when driving between 10 at night and 2 in the morning. But luckily our curfew is 9 so we don't see any of that. Or so I thought. I was so fed up with talking with and teaching trailer trash. I was frustrated so we decided to try to teach the rich part of our area. That didn't go so hot. We were walking down a dirt road which was huge with giant houses on it. All we heard was "no", door slams, and locks turning. Not successful at all. As we walked down this boulevard of broken dreams(yes I did say it) we saw a red pickup with two young men in it speeding towards us. They were going at least 25 over and were driving in the middle of the road. They came closer and closer and when they were near us one of them rolled down the window, leaned out and threw a beer can at us. It was one of the worst shots I'd ever seen. If you're going to throw something at us, at least get close enough to make us have to step out of the way. Hahaha such a bad shot.

The area is hurting right now, as we clear the board of the people we are teaching. For the first time in my mission we had no investigators at church. It made the 7 to 5 day at church just that much sadder. So I decided to eat away my sadness at dinner and I did. I even out ate Elder Miner for the first time which is a task. I had 2 and a half hamburgers, 3 servings of potatoe salad, corn on the cob, potato chips, a plate of fruit, a chocolate muffin, and cake and ice cream. I hadn't eaten all day and decided that if I out ate Elder Miner maybe he wouldn't brag about out eating all of his companions anymore.

The wards are still taking a little while to get back into the flow of things so its made our job a little harder because they don't know what to do with us at times. Today we washed the car for inspection tomorrow and we've done our shopping already. Its kind of funny being here because either people love you or hate you. Elder Staton put it best "what's great about being a missionary in Mesa is that its the closest that I'll ever be to being a celebrity". For example we were driving on the 60 to the temple last week. The motorcycle was following us around and finally pulled up next to us. He had a big grin on his face, waved, and gave us a a thumbs up and drove off.

I think last night because of being sad and over eating I had some weird dreams. I had a dream that the Broncos signed Michael Vick and it ruined everything. But apparently that isn't far from reality I hear. At the car wash today they had movie previews playing so we got freebies. Its official I've been out long enough to not know what's going on. I saw a preview for last Airbender, some weird Robin Williams movie, A Hillary Swank movie, and "New Moon". It was really weird to see. So strange. Its good that I don't know what's going on in the outside world much anymore it makes me feel like a missionary though I saw a poster for the new Madden and it made my stomach churn.

Tomorrow is my interview with President Bassett as I believe I have previously stated. I'm a little nervous but excited to get his input on how to help the area. Now that I think about I'm more excited. On Saturday I caould possibly be going back to Phoenix for a baptism. Someone I taught who we always knew would be baptized after she had her baby is being baptized. Its really cool because its the first person that I ever invited to be baptized. Its the African lady who we snuck into the hospital with Brother Camara to give a blessing to last month. Ironically her name is Bee. I thought that was kind of neat.

Well I'm off I believe. Sounds like the colleges are starting up. I'm still a little shaken by the lack of success I'm having here but the mission is doing great 98 baptisms in 4 weeks. Thats incredible we have 199 scheduled but unfortunately I'm not part of that at the moment. Suck. Alright Peace out!

love, Elder K-Wood

Rocky the tortoise‏

I have almost zero percent in the thought category going for me today. I did something really stupid last night. I stayed up telling stories with Elder Hendrickson until 12:30 last night. Then I woke up at 5:30. Argh I’m going to feel like poop later today. Maybe sooner. Drat. Oh well. I think a lot has happened since last week but I’ll try to remember what.

So I guess it all goes back to last P-day which was Monday. We came home and we didn’t do anything really except for BOX. Elder Staton bought some boxing gloves and we began to beat the tar out of each other (figuratively). I was surprisingly good at it because nobody was the same build as me. Therefore I could easily block and hit people with no real challenge. Then right before dinner Elder Staton and I went one more round and we both did a number on each other. We’ll box again next week I think. Elder Miner got hit pretty good and was a little loopy Monday night. I decided who Elder Miner reminds me of, The Penguin from Batman.

Man having 8 days between P-days is hard, I cannot collect my thoughts to save my life. Blech. Let’s see on Tuesday we had Zone Conference. I met an Elder from Oregon who is actually cousins with somebody I’m friends with at college. Kind of a small world. Zone Conference was good we were basically told the mission was on fire right now(except for my area…) We’ve had 68 baptisms in 3 weeks and over 200 scheduled for the next month. That’s an awesome statistic. I was happy about that. What I wasn’t happy about was our area shrunk and about a 1/3 of the people we were teaching have been given to the zone leaders due to the ward realignment. So that has made things a little tough.

I’ve had some weird things happen to me this week I guess. One of them happened on Wednesday. Elder Hendrickson legs were hurting so he said that he couldn’t go running. I stayed behind with him and zoned out for a little while. I went back into my room and I heard Elder Miner and Elder Staton come in. I stayed in a little longer and Elder Miner went into the bathroom. I went out to the kitchen and fixed up some cereal. I was eating for a little while when something caught my eye. There was a tortoise in the middle of the main room. It was sitting in a pan with some carrots. I was surprised I hadn’t noticed it before and I asked Elder Hendrickson where it came from. He said Elder Miner and Elder Staton found it on the trail while they were running. Later they decided to let it go and watched it slowly walk into the sunrise. His name was Rocky. :'( We will remember you Rocky. It was a strange morning.

On Friday we planned forever it seemed. I also on Friday I got my ukulele. It has been pretty dang nice to have. I’m going to go buy another hymn book today so I can play hymns on it. I’m excited for that. It’s been a nice release. Especially from listening to Elder Miner attempt to play the guitar. He bought it on the mission and has been trying to teach himself. He somehow got a hold of the chords and words for Oasis’s Wonderwall. What a nightmare, when he sings that song it sounds like someone is gutting a cat. *sigh* Oh well. Also that night we finally killed the rat from under the dish washer. Elder Staton pulled out his machete and hacked it to death. We think there is another one in there or under the stove though.

I really wish Monday was P-day still because church just takes it out of me every week. We are at the church from 7 AM to 5 PM. I’m usually good until the last hour between 4 and 5. I just conk out by then which always make me feel bad because I’m a missionary sleeping in church.

Well today we got up extra early to do something as a district and with a few other missionaries. We drove way easy towards the back of Superstition Mountains. We then jumped over a barbed wire fence towards an abandon mine. The mine is known as the “bat caves” because of how many bats are in it. It was quite a hike to get to it and there was a huge wasp nest that we had to get by to get there but we finally got there. I brought the light off of my bike as a flash light. The Spanish Elders brought masks for us to wear (Because lots of bats means lots of guano (bat poop)). As we got to the middle of the cave I saw a few bats. Not much. Then we got to the main chamber and holy crap. They were everywhere; I was ducking down because being the tallest with bats floating around your head sucked. The entire point of going there is to try and see if you can get the bats to leave. So when you enter this main chamber you have to run out as fast as you can and scream at the top of your lungs so that bats will follow you out. That was something else. Bats everywhere. It was a good time and also it was cool because we had a small MTC reunion with Elder Paiz and Elder Bickmore.

Well I think I’ve run out of things to say. I’m hoping for a good week this week. We worked way hard towards the latter part of last week and I’m hoping to see the fruits of that. Take care of my Honda. Don’t scare me like that I love that thing.

Love, Elder K-Wood/Bonacoy Wrandod, this name is what Elder Yates gave me as a new name, he mixed up the letters of my original name and made this, his was Jess Shotay